One Reader Writes...sorta

Random Substacks that I felt deserved/earned comment

OK, so I borrowed the the title of an Ernest Hemingway short story. And OK, so I remembered reading a very funny piece by the wonderful George Saunders called “Ask The Optimist” and thought of doing the very same thing for a handful of these Substack posts/grouses/announcements from the balcony. Being a wag. “A person who is a joker or a wit.”

I mean no harm. Well, not much.

Spotted this just before I left for my book signing at Barnes & Noble.

I have several friends who are or were math teachers. And there are all in agreement that triangles are bitchin’. Especially ancient, crumbling ones. I mean, you have three different sides. And if they’re equal, why, even I know it’s an equilateral triangle. How cool is that. Leaves squares and hexagons and circles in the dust.

I was not aware of the overwhelming cultural and physiological impact of Tik Tok on media in the world, particularly on the duration of the song. And for many songs of the hip hop/rap genre, in my older-person view, the duration is already unbearably long, particularly that cursed “Soulja Boy” which, for one dark period of my life, I had to listen to on a loop while working at Circuit City, trying to earn some coin to keep my son in school. It’s interesting that whoever devised this chart felt that duration was extraordinarily important. Then again, Bob Dylan didn’t get a number one single until he went to a 17-minute song. Not sure if it made Tik Tok, however. I don’t travel in those circles.

And I am curious how the duration of a song impacts that chart. Are you feeling as though the song will never end, or that the song ends too abruptly? I never thought lemgth was a particular attribute for popular songs, unless it was a Neil Young or Eric Clapton guitar solo.

Getting into political arguments in these trying times isn’t advisable because some people can’t be convinced of being incorrect, unless they use “alternate facts” which you must give their side credit. Coming up some ludicrous concept with to back their lame-ass arguments, when logic and common sense and FACTS weren’t going to do it.

I happened upon a post from an A.M. Hickman, who describes himself as a woodchuck. (He must have unusual keys on his typewriter.) And I can’t find his original post but it was something to the effect of he wasn’t going to get rattled or upset about the dumbass things we’re seeing going on around us - tariffs on, then off, then on, arresting people, including judges for the hell of it, lying at a record-setting pace, hiring incompetents who always say yes, things like that. He said he was just going to chill.

So, I bravely thought I should respond I thought Democracy was worth fighting for, a stance I still hold, even if it gets me uninvited to Petey’s next Group Chat. His point, that we can’t do much, especially in small, persistent groups, has been disproven by history. Look at equal rights? Women voting? Tampa Bay Rays’ fans getting to play at Steinbrenner Field.

And he responded like this:

To me, I’m sorry A.M., but that sounds like surrender. I’m not exactly sure what I can do, even if writing the occasional Substack post will do anything to change anyone’s mind. But it might. I can hope, can’t I? So far, we still can hope.

Then I got this whiz kid…

Anarchists? Anarchists? How many courts does the Orange One have to get rejected by before you see WHO the anarchist is? Have you listened to Steve Bannon? That’s EXACTLY WHAT THEY WANT. Shipping people out of the country because he doesn’t like them or want them here (Guess I better watch out), suing TV stations for airing interviews he doesn’t like, ripping the Constitution to shreds in front of your eyes. What MORE do you have to see his complete and utter disregard for the laws of this country? Whether you like the guy or not — and you obviously do — there are laws and the President is supposed to uphold them AND the Constitution. And if you think he’s doing that, I’m sorry but you are shaming George Washington, Thomas Jefferson, John Adams, Alexander Hamilton, James Madison and all these other Founding Fathers who put their personal differences and likes aside — GEE, IMAGINE A POLITICIAN BEING MAN ENOUGH TO DO THAT! — and worked for the good of the country. Go ahead, read the Federalist Papers sometime. If you think The Orange One is following what they selflessly imagined, I’m sorry, but you couldn’t be more wrong — unless you were him.

Now…I feel better. We have free speech, at least so far, so Mr. Melody can sing that tune if he chooses. But I’d recommend he looks up the definition of “anarchy.”

Finally, I had a considerable disagreement with my son, usually acknowledged to have a wonderful sense of humor — like his old man — on this particular response. I had read Jamie’s sweetly innocent, if a tad lofty, post and had to have a little fun so I offered what I considered a knee-slapping bit of playful humor. My son said it wasn’t funny. I feel I was shortchanged on this. Readers? Your take?