The Worst Song In the World

Gangnam Style, Ice Ice Baby and Soulja Boy duel for the crown

It was on an episode of “Comedians In Cars Drinking Coffee” with Jerry Seinfeld that David Letterman reflected on one of his favorite broadcasts.

“We had Regis (Philbin), we had (Don) Rickles and we had Tony Bennett,” he said, surprising Seinfeld by listing a roster of such ancient performers, all of whom were in their 70’s. “We did it for the kids,” Letterman quipped.

Dave’s quip gave me an idea. If he could do a show “for the kids,” why couldn’t I? So one bright and sunny afternoon, I asked them to vote on the Worst Song of All-Time. Sure, I was old enough to be their granddad (and somebody would have to do some explaining.) But what the heck? Why not?

In accordance with strict Gadsden County School regulations, American jurisprudence and aural common sense, it would be clearly inappropriate for such tender-eared youngsters to be expected to make such momentous selections, especially since the teacher had already brought out his guitar.

So, “for the kids,” I volunteered myself to select the three cursed songs to give them a chance to vote. This is, naturally, the kind of high-level critical thinking that today’s youth often lack. I thought it was the least I could do as the leader of young men and women to demonstrate what I considered the worst songs you might hear on the radio. There was a lot to pick from and there were many possible candidates. But I settled on three that were, to my ears, inarguable.

In no particular order of dislike, my three were: “Gangnam Style” - by PSY, “Ice, Ice Baby” by Vanilla Ice and “Crank That” by Soulja Boy, a song I have utterly detested since it happened to be on a loop that continually played in the store where I had a part-time job to supplement what I wasn’t earning as a teacher. It was truly painful to play in class this one last time.

There were a lot of other candidates that I and many radio listeners had suffered through over the years, “Seasons In The Sun” by Terry Jacks, “Shannon” by Henry Gross (which was a hit and I saw him sing it live and he had to apologize before he did), any number of John Denver songs, well, I could go on. Instead, I tried to pick tunes that I was sure they had heard in recent years. Songs I wished I never had.

The students had no idea of the choices until they had to listen to them. So we began, the songs were aired, their faces were contorted, puzzled, irritated. And then, we asked them to write about them. What they had to say was interesting.

Araceli Carlos: Personally, Gangnam Style is the most annoying song I’ve heard. I remember when this song was trending because of the ridiculous dance, which I never understood what was so good about it. The background in the video is simply hideous, ridiculous and inappropriate. The beat of the song was extremely annoying to the point where it would make my head hurt. I truly dislike this song in particular. Everything about it was just wrong and just annoying. The only message it gave was something negative, no positivity, no life lesson, no romance. There was simply no story to it.

Maria Castellanos: The Worst songs of all time!!!! For first place we have: Psy- Gangnam style This song is just the most annoying EVER!! The type beat is annoying. Terrible video.

Katie Lugo: The worst song is “Ice Ice Baby”. I didn’t like the entire video. I think the lyrics are terrible. And the person singing isn’t that great, plus his face annoys me. The second worst song is “Crack That: Souja Boy”. I didn’t like the lyrics and I didn’t like the beat. But he was a better singer then the guy singing in “Ice Ice Baby”. The song that is the least terrible of all three songs is “Gangnam Style” and that's only because I couldn’t understand what the man was saying. So it's harder to tell how bad it really is. But the music video made me uncomfortable.

Omeisha McMillion: “Crank That” by Soulja Boy is the meat of this sandwich. This song was crazy popular and had everyone doing the “superman” dance. It played during every party and basically everywhere you went. Sometimes it’ll still be brought up during a family gathering or randomly played at events as a “throwback”. It’s still catchy and I’m still gonna dance to it every time it comes on but I refuse to listen to it on my own time just because it was --and still is-- played so much. “Gangnam Style” once ruled the internet. It is one of the most viewed videos on YouTube with over 3.8 Billion views. When it came out, there were endless parody videos, remixes, and memes based on this song. Psy, a Korean artist, was able to break down barriers for other artists like himself when he reached such commercial success internationally. He also created a dance with the video which boosted the song even more during a time where crazy dance music was extremely popular. The video was crazy and random which I love. Even though it was overplayed 8 years ago when it was released, I still listen to this song sometimes when I’m feeling nostalgic. Gangnam Style created a lot of memories.”

Maranda Dugans: “The ultimate dance song. Crank That. You can never go wrong with a classic. This song is definitely a 10/10. There is nothing bad to say about it. It’s fun, it’s catchy, it’s energetic, and it’s just an overall hit. There maybe have been some unique fashion designs chosen for the music video that might not have appealed to everyone, but the song in general is great. It brings in that old timey rap style which is amusing. This song definitely deserved to be replayed over and over again.”

Then we shared their assessments and talked about the songs. You could clearly see from their responses that they all gave it some serious thought. Some had already done some research and used that in their decision-making. Others were clear and honest. It certainly was a different way to teach critical thinking but if you read their responses, they all had their rationale, their opinion was defended or explained and most of all, it made them think. And, hey, it was FUN.

What were your worst songs of all-time? There are so many to pick from. And it was interesting to see how the class responded. Musical tastes — or the lack of them — is so personal. I’ve been called a music snob more times than I can count. But I just think that means I have taste. (I would think that, wouldn’t I?)

BTW: Here was Omeisha’s parting comment: “Maranda wants to get married to “Crank That.”

HERE ARE OUR PICKS FOR THE WORST SONGS OF ALL-TIME (How many of you will dare to listen to all three?)

1. Gangnam Style by PSY:

CRANK THAT by SOULJA BOY

ICE, ICE BABY - by Vanilla Ice